When the Grandchildren Grow Older, and Closer – NYTimes.com

When the Grandchildren Grow Older, and Closer – NYTimes.com

Much of the research on grandparents and grandchildren has focused on young children and on the safety-net function that grandparents can provide in troubled families. But lengthening lifespans mean that more people will have adult relationships with their grandparents, too, sometimes for many years.

“We know relatively little about what grandparents and grandchildren do for each other on a daily basis during the grandchildren’s adulthood,” said Sara Moorman, a Boston College sociologist who set out to learn more. She presented the results of her research at the American Sociological Association’s annual meeting in New York this week.

I don’t have any grandchildren, so this is a topic I had not thought about: the relationship between grandparents and adult grandchildren.

Frontline: Life and Death in Assisted Living

Frontline: Life and Death in Assisted Living

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/life-and-death-in-assisted-living/

What can one expect in an assisted living facility? It can be hard to evaluate their seemingly bucolic surroundings based solely on their websites and promotional literature. The team at Frontline teamed up with Pro Publica to craft this well-done documentary on the assisted living industry in the United States. Visitors can watch the entire 53 minute documentary online or explore the site’s wealth of extra features. Users shouldn’t miss the interviews with two of the nation’s largest assisted living companies or the very compelling live chat transcript with the filmmakers, titled Is Assisted Living Safe for Your Parents? Journalists, in particular, will appreciate the section How “Life and Death in Assisted Living” Was Reported.

From The Scout Report, Copyright Internet Scout 1994-2013. https://www.scout.wisc.edu/

Film Review: “Still Mine”

‘Still Mine’ Adds to Movies on Aging

Paula Span reviews this new film:

Not long ago, I could name the really excellent recent movies about aging on one hand. Now I’m running short of fingers, which I hope reflects filmmakers’ dawning recognition of the way this global demographic shift affects all our lives. The latest entry, a Canadian movie called “Still Mine,” opened in New York, Washington, Phoenix and several other cities last month and will arrive in Denver, Atlanta, Seattle, Charlotte and more locations today.

And, just as rain is the standard symbol for Seattle, dementia has become a standard trope for aging:

Interesting, isn’t it, how many of the best films about aging zero in on dementia? On my personal favorites list (adding “Still Mine” to “Amour,” “The Iron Lady,” “Iris,” “The Savages,” “Away from Her” and “About Schmidt”), all but the last incorporate a central character suffering from this disease. Screenwriters, and novelists like Walter Mosley and Alice LaPlante, can’t seem to resist its intrinsic here-but-not-here drama.

“Still Mine” is clear-eyed about this phase, not nearly as brutal as the masterful “Amour,” but more grounded than “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” and “Quartet,” both of which featured charming British actors in fluffy screenplays that carefully evaded most realities of advanced age.

This film doesn’t, but it is gentle, more gentle than life can be.

 

Mick Jagger at 70 is Still Ripping the Joint

Mick Jagger at 70 is still ripping the joint

Here’s a jolt: Mick Jagger turns 70 today.

MIck Jagger
Mick Jagger performing in London last year. Photo: Reuters

Michael Dwyer, writing in Australian newspaper The Age, entertains with a historic look at The Rolling Stones and Jagger, who refuses to age gracefully.

Life Is Too Short. Or Is It?

Life Is Too Short. Or Is It?

Liah Greenfeld, Ph.D., writes that medical advances in prolonging life may have unintended consequences. She offers as evidence the fate of her parents:

My mother, who will be 85 next month and whose mind is still sharper than a surgical scalpel, repeats now and then: one must die in time. She was a doctor, she watched many deaths. She believes that the ability of medical science in developed countries to prolong life into the 80s and beyond is nothing to celebrate and, in fact, actively contributes to unnecessary suffering.  My mother is tired of life – and since my father’s death eleven years ago, in 2002, has often wished she were dead. They were married for 53 years, with his death meaningful life ended for her – there was nothing to live for anymore. His death – sudden, on the operation table, at 75 — was a terrible loss for all of us. For two years I, his eldest daughter, 48 when this happened, was overwhelmed by grief. Yet, before that, I had been consciously happy, that is, I realized that my life was a truly happy one, full to the brim of love and passionate interest in the surrounding world, which make life worth living. My father knew that he was going to die: we have discovered this in his diary. He was a doctor too, and a very good doctor, in contrast to the young and eager to cut surgeons who operated on him. He knew that, given the regimen of medications he was on, if operated, he would die of the loss of blood; his doctors, who suggested an exploratory surgery, missed this essential detail. Signing the consent form, my father was, therefore, consciously signing his death warrant. He was a man interested in so many things, always excited about something, always full of projects. In fact, at the time of his death he was learning a new language. And he was afraid of dying, as he wrote in the last entry of his diary, adding, though, but can life after 75 be considered life? I understand now that he died, as my mother says, “in time.”

After his death, my mother suddenly became very old. Her health drastically deteriorated. She started dying and has been dying for eleven years.

She ends by asking: “When is the time? Shouldn’t we at least think of this before further advancing our ability to prolong physical existence, without at the same time being able to fill the additional years with meaning?”

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